walking the sacred spiral
walking the sacred spiral
As I was thinking my way through a bunch of topics for my blog today–time, freedom, choices, the allure of the familiar–I started to hear an old Beatles’ tune playing in my head: Listen. (do-dah-do) Do you want to know a secret? (do-dah-do)…I’m in love with you!
The song reminded me of a similar “secret” I have often shared with my grandson that begins with my saying to him, “Guess what?” He knows this game so well that he no longer replies, “What?” Now he announces triumphantly (before I can get it out) “You love me!”
Isn’t it interesting that we thrive so much better in the presence of love than without it, even when every other need is well met? This seems to be as true for our pets as for people. Even though we joke that our cats have staff (meaning us) they do come asking for affection and can be quite insistent when they need it.
This week I’ve been the only human at home with three cats, all of whom have distinct personalities. When all three humans are at home, they seem pretty independent, and not at all needy. But their need for comfort increases if one of us is missing. And when only one person is here, they are much more likely to follow her around and seek her out for cuddles, until they feel thoroughly comforted. They get back to normal pretty quickly once everyone is at home.
Love. Affection. Being cherished and cared about and for with kindness and attention. There’s no substitute. Plants, animals, children–all of us benefit from receiving it.
What we learn in school is reading, arithmetic and math, writing, and a bit of history and science. We may, or may not learn why these matter, or how to appreciate complex math, beautiful writing, or science breakthroughs.
There’s no training in how to give and receive love except by observing our families and friends and pets. Odd, since we need that ability most of all to thrive and contribute meaningfully in life.
Hopefully, we have good role models for learning to give and receive love, but even if we didn’t, it’s not too late. A wonderful way to learn is by observing friends and family, taking our cues from those who are happiest. Often we’ll see that they’re loving, respectful and kind to each other. Do they laugh together? Share affection? Seem happy to be with each other? Joke and enjoy one another’s humor? Listen to each other? Disagree respectfully? Allow each other to have their own opinions and experiences?
Love is a good practice. It nourishes the giver and the receiver. So go get nourished! Seed your world with kind attention and laughter, and see what returns to you.
…it is hard to be loving all the time. But it’s harder not to be loving.
–Stephen Levine
Listen, Do You Want to Know a Secret?
Wednesday, May 27, 2015