walking the sacred spiral
walking the sacred spiral
A momentous decision was made by the Supreme Court here in the U.S. on June 26, declaring that legal marriage is indeed a civil right for all adult citizens regardless of their gender and that of their beloved. Why is this important? Given that civil unions were legal in some states, and registry for domestic partnerships was legal in some, why does actual legal marriage matter?
It matters because people are people. People love. We connect. We need belonging and community. If we are ostracized from one community we create a community in which we can be accepted. We want to be treated fairly, as even the youngest children can demonstrate. “It’s not fair!” is an outrage parents hear all the time.
Loving another person is one of life’s greatest gifts. Choosing that person as your life partner is a way of expressing your commitment and your willingness to be responsible for it and for a shared life together. A marriage ceremony is a way of celebrating that commitment with family and friends. We naturally want to include others we love in our circle of love and life, and to have our beloved be considered a part of the family.
Raising children in a family of love is a powerful model for them in respect, love, limits and responsibilities. We have seen repeatedly, in many studies, that children raised in a same-sex parenting environment are often happier, healthier and more resilient that kids in the typical mom and dad environment, rather than less so.
Suppose your adult son or daughter came to you and said, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay.” Would you think it was right if your child could never legally marry? Could be fired from any job? Could be refused housing? Could be harmed or bullied merely for who they are?
Does this recognition of equal civil rights regarding marriage feel uncomfortable? If so, that might be so due to lack of familiarity with gay, lesbian, transgendered or bisexual people. It is always easier to keep a group we have never experienced outside our circle of acceptance. Images of members of unfamiliar groups might seem distasteful or unpleasant to you, especially if making fun of them was something you did or witnessed during your growing up years.
Most people in sexual minorities are actually just like you. We date, we make commitments to loved ones, we go to work, we pick up the kids from school, we do the laundry and pay the bills, we buy groceries and toys, and we walk the dog. It’s so typical of “just plain life” that you would find it unremarkable.
The Marriage Equality Act recognizes that adults in sexual minorities in America are the same, not different from other adults, and may legally choose for themselves whom to marry. It is so simple. So basic. So personal.
Churches can still give or withhold permission to marry within their faith traditions from any couple to whom they have moral objections: divorced people, interracial couples, interfaith couples, unmarried people who have children together, and gay and lesbian couples. That hasn’t changed. Religious ceremonies and civil rights are two different things.
I have seen so many human rights changes during my life: the falling of the Berlin Wall, the dismantling of the USSR, the end of apartheid in South Africa, the integration of schools in the southern US, civil rights, and women’s rights, and the beginning of banning female genital mutilation of adolescent girls in some of the countries that have practiced it.
We have crossed a new threshold in the United States. Marriage Equality was as past due as it was ultimately inevitable. Human rights issues all have more work ahead to fulfill their original promises, but they have come about, and that matters because people matter.
Marriage matters because love is no gift to treat lightly. Love matters, and it deserves to be recognized as well as celebrated, with all many the legal rights and privileges that entails.
Happy Independence Day!
#lovewins
Why Marriage Equality Matters
Wednesday, July 1, 2015