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And the Love Goes On...

Sun, 15 Jan 2017 14:52:08 -0800

On March 5 of 2012, I posted a blog about grieving. We had said goodbye to our dog, Morgan, in January, and unbeknownst to me at that time, would be saying another goodbye to one of our cats, Pie, later in May. Having always had three pets, my spouse, Amanda, and I were quickly in the unfamiliar position of being a single cat household. Just us and Ben.

Ben was a tiny kitten when he came to our country home in Freestone, California in 2002. Three days ago, we released him from his 14 ½ year-old body. We had taken him into the veterinary hospital for cancer surgery, but it was quickly determined from the CT results that the cancer had advanced too much for surgery to be successful.

We went to be with him without having the vet bring him out of anesthesia from the CT scan. We stroked his body and told him what a good kitty he had been. We kissed his little head and kept our hands on his body as our kind veterinary oncology surgeon released him. Everyone was very kind to us.

I think that we’re grieving the passing of all three of our pets now that there are none of our own here any longer to divert our attention from that feeling of loss.

In the past, I think I have not taken sufficient time to be with my own grief. I busied myself with work or showered attention on our other pets. This time I’ve decided it’s okay. I can be with my fuzzy brain and my lack of motivation to do things or be with people and just let myself be.

About 100 times a day I think of Ben as I pass places at home where he used to nap, or recognize habits I developed to accommodate his needs and mine. These things are no longer necessary, and that is both a relief and a source of sadness.

Other times when I think of Ben, I suspect it’s when a moment of comfort is sent from his little soul to mine.

I do believe when loved ones go on that they remain aware of us and do all they can to offer comfort to those in grief during the early days following their transition. I can’t swear that’s true–for people, or animals–but I believe it, anyway.

If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, or someone you love is in the process of their own transition, I suggest you read all you can about near-death experiences and life following the death of the physical body.

Someone recently gifted me with two books that have given me new information to consider that you can also explore, if you like:
Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives, and Destiny of Souls: New Cases Studies of Life Between Lives, both by Michael Newton.

We are all experiencing our human lives, learning and growing, making mistakes and discoveries, expanding our souls. This life is meaningful and important to our souls–even the painful parts of it, and perhaps even especially the painful parts.

So rather than avoiding the sadness that grieving brings, give it some space. Be quiet and open to the love energy pouring into you from beyond form. Because it’s always there.

Thank you, Ben. And thank you, Morgan and Pie. Your love is welcome and appreciated. Run, play, romp and enjoy! We love you so.

(P.S. I know the photo spacing looks weird on some browsers, but it’s necessary for some others.)

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How to Know When It’s Time to Let Go

Tue, 18 Oct 2016 08:59:58 -0700

Did you ever see the science fiction comedy spoof Galaxy Quest? In it, a group of television actors–who had starred in an old, popular science fiction series, who have been mistaken for experts–are invited into space as advisors by an alien crew battling a cunning enemy. One of the slogans used repeatedly in the television series by the Capt. Kirk-like lead television character was, “Never give up; never surrender!” Is that actually good advice?

What is a healthy balance between perseverance and letting go? Is it ever time to surrender and let go? How do we know when that time has come? Do we give up too soon and too easily? Do we hold on too long?

When we hold on too long, we usually do it out of fear. We don’t let go because we are afraid of being without _____. (You name it.)

When we give up too soon, we often lack faith in ourselves or our vision. We haven’t tried everything yet, but we’re giving up anyway. We’ve decided all effort is futile before taking the really uncomfortable risks. These are the things we’re too afraid to try, or have too much pride to try, or are simply unwilling to try. We avoid asking for help, knowing we might be called out about those things we’re avoiding.

When actions we avoid would be violations of our deeply held values, we’re right to let go and to choose to remain in integrity with our values.

ANYTHING BUT THAT!

When we say “no” to taking action out of some fear, usually that’s an indication that we need to examine the fear more deeply. Is that fear accurate and realistic? Is our fear based on something valid? Or is it based on our assumptions and imaginings about un-investigated images, opinions and ideas?

Choosing to give up out of pride or embarrassment, avoidance or fear, is premature, unnecessary surrender. We don’t have enough information about what’s possible unless we’ve explored all the reasonable possibilities.

If you’ve tried everything you can think of, even the things that pushed you into areas you normally avoided out of fear or embarrassment, and you’ve consulted with trusted mentors who have no further suggestions, then it’s time to let go.

There have been four times in my life I can immediately call to mind that I consciously chose to stick with a goal until I had tried everything I could to address the situation.

In all four cases, the actions I chose were ones I had vigorously avoided. To take those actions I had to walk into my fear and risk rejection, failure and embarrassment.

In all four cases my courage and self-esteem were strengthened, even though in two of those cases, after doing everything I could, I eventually had to let go. I discovered I could do what I had thought I couldn’t. In the other cases, the risks I took proved successful.

I could let go of the others without regret, because I knew I had done every good, effective thing I could imagine that might work.

When all my work was done, and those situations didn’t shift, I knew that I had served them as well as I was able to, and they had served me as well as they could. Some things do need to be released, and I could finally let them go and walk away without regret.

But what about persevering?

NEVER GIVE UP; NEVER SURRENDER!

I remember persevering once because I was pressured to do so by my immediate boss. Having no choice (or so I thought), I imagined what would be effective and unexpected, and did that. It worked!

Other times I’ve persisted past old fear-based limits because I realized that my training in “how to be a good girl” taught me to be polite and yielding–to give up, rather than grow up–so the limits of my comfort zone were boundaries that had been established for a girl, rather than for a woman, and needed to be expanded and redrawn.

Sometimes a good woman needs to be much more than just a good girl. She needs to be firm and strong–sometimes even fierce–when the situation calls for it.

I’ve learned that repetition is magic, attention is fertilizer, and that what I persist in practicing moves me toward mastery.

YOU CAN DO THIS

When I stop trying now, I choose to use it as a rest stop, committing to myself that I will get right back onto my goals after the break. I work with colleagues and mentors who understand the nature of balancing courageous action with breaks, and have experience helping others get moving again.

How about you? Do you hang on too long? Do you give up too easily?

If you want a more satisfying life where you aren’t getting stuck for long periods of time, choose work with someone who can support you in exploring boundaries and taking effective action, so you can put your energy into ideas, people and goals that lift you up, rather than those motivated by fear and separation.

Sometimes we need encouragement to keep going; sometimes we need experienced people to ask us good questions and offer guidance and strategies to help us identify our fears and move through them.

Don’t waste your precious life going in circles. Invest in yourself instead–you’re worth it, and the world needs what you have to give.

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Are You In Hiding?

Wed, 15 Jun 2016 14:05:12 -0700

It’s been a while since I sent out a newsletter. As things have been unfolding in the election news and the recent massacre in Orlando at a gay club, I can’t imagine a better time to write. Yet I feel hesitant. A bit overwhelmed. Perhaps you do, too.

Caregivers often experience exhaustion, and even those of us who are just taking in the news from afar can experience compassion fatigue. That’s where we want to care, but we just can’t any more without some rejuvenation. We need time to regroup and digest what we’ve seen and heard in order to find a way to respond.

When we have the luxury of really stepping back and doing this it may be a sign that–most likely–we aren’t the ones directly affected by what has occurred. People in the thick of what is happening don’t have the ability to do that. It stays with them night and day. There is no escape. They have to stay with the process for as long as it takes.

If you are able to step back or turn your attention completely away to other things, forgetting all about the tragedy in Florida, you are privileged. Not because of anything you’ve done wrong. I’m not leveling an accusation. It’s an observation.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY “PRIVILEGE”?

White people have the privilege of not seeing racially painful movies or television or reading books about these events. People who experienced these events, or whose ancestors did, are immersed constantly in their aftereffects without an option for turning them off. It’s part of the fabric of their everyday lives.

Similarly, for those in the LBGTQ communities, an event like this triggers fear that lives under the surface for many people. The fear is sleeping, but with vigilance always nearby. While the rest of the world loses interest and the story drops out of the news it lives on in the lives of those who were directly and indirectly affected.

THE HEALING POWER OF LISTENING

All people want to feel safe, loved, understood and cared about. A recent Facebook post highlighted this in a thought-provoking way. It was a video of a former CIA undercover officer, Amaryllis Fox, describing what she had learned from 10 years of experience dealing with “enemies.” “The only real way to disarm your enemy is to listen to him,” she said.

What a mind-blowing concept! Listen to the other person’s real concerns and needs. She begins by saying, “If I learned one lesson from my time with the CIA, it is this: Everybody believes they are the good guy.”

This matches what I learned about playing a character well in any play. The actor has to understand why the character believes, behaves, and wants the things they do. The actor has to come from that character, and to do that the actor cannot judge the character, but has to play them as they would see themselves: as the good guy.

If we assumed that people actually have good reasons for their beliefs and behavior–reasons we might agree with if we had had their experiences and lived their lives–we might open some doors and build some bridges, rather than wasting so much more time building walls, blowing them up, and then building bigger ones.

To listen, we have to stop feeling defensive. We have to take at least a little responsibility for the problem. We have to offer honest, authentic responses rather than reactions. We have to stop interrupting with counter-accusations and get curious. We have to be willing to do what we say we will do to help the problem.

When we turn away from challenges that are smoldering in the world, we are in hiding and denial. It seems like these things don’t affect us, but they absolutely do. Because we are all connected on this small planet. Instead of turning away, let’s take hold of these issues and look at them together, declaring that the challenges we face do not have the power to overcome or overwhelm us, because we are determined to make a difference in them that benefits everyone concerned.

WE DON’T HAVE TO KNOW “HOW” TO BEGIN

It doesn’t begin with knowing “how.” It begins with the declaration and patient, relentless persistence. The “how” will reveal itself as we go once the declaration has been made.

Please don’t hide out in fear. The world needs your voice, your heart, your mind and hands. We all need them, and you need ours. If not now, when? If not us, who?

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What If Quantum Physics Is Right?

Thu, 31 Mar 2016 18:02:33 -0700

Quantum physicists seem to be telling us something about the nature of “Reality” that we all find hard to grasp. Even the guys doing the experiments and seeing the implications aren’t living as if what they know is true. Why not? Sensory input is so convincing.

If I correctly understand the message of quantum physics, it’s that everything is connected. Everything affects everything else, and the “everything” referred to is really just ONE THING.

Oh, and the concept of the time-space continuum describes a kind of relativity of both time and space that leaves our experience of “here” and “now” in the dust.

These are the same things we teach in metaphysics, but very few of us manage to live completely from this perspective. What might it mean if these ideas are accurate and we take them to heart?

If you’ve known me for any time at all, you know that I like to play with big ideas and consider what their implications are. So, for what it’s worth today, I’m exploring the implications of these ideas on our everyday lives if we were to live as if we totally “got” what they mean.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, “THERE’S ONLY ONE?”
1. If everything is connected, then everyone’s behavior, thoughts and words have an impact on me now, no matter where they are, were, or will be, and also no matter when they are, were, or will be.

2. My behavior, thoughts and words have an impact on everyone and everything, regardless of their placement in space and time, and regardless of mine.

3. Everything and everyone–all inclusive–is ONE. That means what I withhold from you I withhold from myself, and what I give to you or share with you I give or share with myself. Things. Ideas. Forgiveness. Love. Respect. Opportunity. Happiness. Encouragement. You get the idea.
4. Our physical senses are vibrational interpreters. There is no color, sound, taste, smell or touch that is definitive. Animals and insects perceive these differently than humans do. Some can hear or see, smell or taste things that humans can’t. Some humans hear color or see music, or feel numbers. Whose perception is “reality”?

5. Solidity is a perception, not a reality. Reduced to the atomic level, there are no boundaries between people, plants or buildings. They are all made up of the same stuff. Just as seeing Earth from space reveals no boundaries between countries, seeing the universe atomically reveals ONE.

6. Those we like, those we dislike, those we trust and those we distrust, those we enjoy and those who repel us or frighten us, are really all the same ONE in various reflections. We are them. They are us.

7. No matter how estranged we may be from another person or group, we are irrevocably connected. We always were. At the root of Being, there is ONE. Not separate ones. In our essence, regardless of present circumstances or appearances, there is no conflict. We are in harmony. Since this is the ultimate Truth, estrangement is always temporary, though it may last throughout this lifetime.

8. Who we were, who we are, and who we will be, exist simultaneously. We can change the past. We can be influenced now by the future. They haven’t gone anywhere and aren’t waiting to come into being. Perhaps we can even connect with alternate times and versions of ourselves.

1. There may be multiple universes or phases of universes with variations on our familiar one. Perhaps every possible choice we could have made was in fact made by different manifestations of us in different phases or universes. All possible pasts, and all possible presents, and all possible futures may be available to the YOU who is reading this article. Perhaps we step into different time lines or universes all the time–every time we make a choice.

SACRED TEACHERS LEAD THE WAY
People who seem to have awakened from our collective hypnotic state of separation tell us some interesting things:
• Eckhart Tolle says that we can each awaken to a life of purpose and presence when we realize our essential identity (ONE) and keep our awareness in present time (NOW).

• Byron Katie teaches us to question every single thought that causes us pain, stripping away assumptions and revealing what we absolutely know to be true as simple and clear.

• Near-death experiencer, Eban Alexander, MD, who is a neurosurgeon and former atheist, has made it his life’s mission to help the medical community worldwide to understand the validity of life after we exit the body based on his vividly rich experiences that occurred during a week long coma in which he had zero brain activity.

Each of these people experienced an enormous life-changing event. Afterward they were never the same. Their perceptions and experience of life and reality were permanently altered.

THERE WAS THIS TRAVELING SALESMAN…
Most of you have heard some version of Danny Thomas’s signature story of the traveling salesman whose gets a flat tire in the country in the evening darkness and discovers he has no jack.

Here is one version of the story as I heard it:

He starts off across a huge field toward the only building with lights around for miles: a farmhouse. As he walks he thinks about how inconvenient it will be for the farmer to see a complete stranger at his door asking to borrow a jack.

The farmer is probably at dinner with his family, after all. But the salesman keeps walking. It gets darker and darker, and eventually the lights go out in the farmhouse.

“Oh, no!” the salesman thinks. “Now the farmer and his family have gone to bed! By the time I knock on the door I’ll have to wake him up. He won’t like that. He won’t want to come down out of his warm bed to a total stranger in the middle of the night. He’ll probably get mad and start yelling at me for disturbing him! He’ll probably tell me to get the hell off of his property! I’ll have to walk all the way back to the car in the cold, sleep there overnight freezing my ears off till someone else comes down the road in the morning! It’s not fair that he should treat me that way! How hard is it to be kind to a person in need? He probably has more than one jack for all his farm vehicles! He wouldn’t even miss a jack!”

He continues walking and feeling more and more riled at the unwitting farmer. Finally he reaches the farmhouse. He pounds on the door, yelling, “Get down here right now!”

The sleepy, confused farmer opens the door, blinking, and the salesman shouts at him, “You can keep your damn jack!!”

WHAT MIGHT REMIND US OVER AND OVER?
We all have a tendency to jump to conclusions. We second-guess people, and what they think, or may say or do, and we try to create strategies in advance to mitigate their reactions. We do all this as if we were adept at reading their minds, rather than letting them have their own reactions.

Meanwhile, we may feel resentful that they don’t already understand what we feel and need, and what we’re thinking, expecting them to read our minds, too. In this way, we create unhappiness for ourselves, often unintentionally and without reason.
If we assumed that every single person has the same needs deep within, and wants basically the same things we do, would we be less afraid of each other? Would we have more compassion or patience? Would we be more willing to listen through our assumptions and history and prejudices to learn about how they see and experience life? Would we be more honest and respectful with one another?

I think we might be. But first we will have to remember ONENESS, since our senses show us something different. We will have to practice assuming connection even when we can’t see it and we feel doubtful. And we’ll have to find ways to get through the deep conditioning and the thick screen of protective assumptions that keep us apart and feed our fear of each other.

Waiting for someone else to be the first to do this hasn’t worked well for our world so far. How do we go about engaging in this practice with other barely awake people to create a ONENESS awareness in us, and in those who are still sound asleep?

There’s only one place to start. You know where it is. I do, too.

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What If This Was Your Best Year, Ever?

Wed, 2 Mar 2016 14:13:37 -0800

Recently I was on a mentoring phone call and I was given some assignments. One of them was so sensible and obvious. It was the very kind of assignment I’ve given to new students in our metaphysical spirituality classes, except that the purpose was to both center me and prepare me for a good workday.

Here they are:
1. Wake up and think of 10 things you’re grateful for. Get out of bed before you start “problem-solving.”

2. Do a short Mind-Body-Spirit morning success ritual. Choose something to nourish each aspect of yourself. Keep these brief and powerful.

3. Set your top 3 priorities of the day and complete the first one before checking Facebook or your email.

4. Do this for 21 days.

Right off the bat I was in trouble. My habit was to begin checking Facebook or email before I’d even headed downstairs to make breakfast! This was going to be a big shift in my morning. I’d have to leave my devices upstairs so I couldn’t get going on them with my coffee.

I could see without a doubt how setting up this simple daily practice would shift my slow amble into my day in good ways. It would get me moving on what matters most to me right away. Yet, I felt resistance to interrupting my habits, even knowing my results would improve. Can you relate?

By now most of us know what actions would improve our lives, but we’d have to choose them, remember them, stay aware, and practice. Each one of these steps can get bogged down when we listen to our habits calling us instead of leaning in to the voice calling us toward our desires.

If I had never overcome a habit I might just give up the attempt before even beginning, thinking it was hopeless. But there’ve been too many times that I’ve had to change something because my life changed. And I did it. I didn’t seem to have the choice about it that I have in most of my life today. Nevertheless, I changed. It was uncomfortable for a while, but not overwhelmingly so. I was fully capable of the change.

The only thing in my way was…me! Or more accurately, the story I was repeatedly telling myself about what I liked or didn’t like, what I was comfortable with and what would inconvenience me. The biggest obstacles to going where we want to go are our attachments to the comfortable habits of life we have that require no effort or attention to repeat.

In January I decided that 2016 would be the best year of my life. What could make that happen? The key to making it the best is choosing to create the best today, and doing that each day, for that day. The best thinking. The best choices. The best responses. Just now. Just today. If I do that in each now moment–or even a bunch of them–just one moment at a time–when I get to the end of 2016 it will have been the best year yet. But I can’t get there without beginning, making a commitment, crossing that threshold of resistance.

If you’re like me you may be used to thinking you’ll do better tomorrow. Or that too many days are ganging up on you at once and the thought of them stretching out in front of you is overwhelming. So you feel as if you just can’t possibly do it.

Twelve Step Groups have learned a skill that we all need to manage life gracefully and kindly. One day at a time. No other day actually exists but the one we’re in now. Tomorrow could bring anything, but we can’t solve its problems before we see them. Today has plenty for us to work with.

So what is your Morning Success Ritual going to be? A walk? Spiritual practice? Inspiring reading? Healthy food? Dancing? Singing? Morning lovemaking?

Begin to consider how the start of your day can give you an even better foundation than whatever you’re already doing. There is something you can do right now to make 2016 your best year yet. Choose it!

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How to Harness Optimism

Fri, 5 Feb 2016 12:55:40 -0800

In the past week Amanda and I had the most amazing experience. She had clicked on YES in a newsletter she receives by email, (among the many we each receive daily) asking, “Would you like to Meet the Clintons?” Imagine our surprise when she was selected as the national winner to attend two Iowa caucus weekend events with Hillary Clinton’s campaign!

It doesn’t matter what your politics are–this blog article isn’t about political opinions or candidates. This article is about inviting and welcoming delightful surprises and adventures into your life.

Amanda got the word on Friday that she had won: airfare, hotel, rental car, special entry to 3 events, a special moment to meet and get a photo with Hillary and Bill Clinton, and contact people to shepherd us to the right places for the events. We left home at 2:30 am (yes, she got to bring me along!) Sunday morning to fly out of San Francisco.

Many of our friends commented on our frequent Facebook posts and photos that it was encouraging to see that someone actually wins these things. Apparently they do, because Amanda did!

After we came home, she told me what she does each day to welcome her good. And since several of unexpectedly wonderful things have happened in our lives over the last few months due to her, I am doing the same thing now.

When Amanda wakes up in the morning, she greets the day with an enthusiastic inner, “Yes!” as if something wonderful and amazing has just come into her experience. Then she gets up and goes about her day with that mindset as her foundation.

Simple, but not always easy to remember or do, this practice changes our morning vibration to one of gratitude and celebration before breakfast or a morning shower have even happened.

A humorist said once that a pessimist begins the day with a heavy, “Good God, morning!” while an optimist begins it with an enthusiastic, “Good morning, God!” Corny, but it’s both true and effective.

Eeyore sees the negative in every experience and possibility. Winnie-the-Pooh sees the positive with curiosity and kindness and delight. Who do you think gets more out of life, and contributes more to it?

Yes, Eeyore and Winnie are fictional children’s characters. But consider the study of 839 patients who completed a respected personality inventory between 1962 and 1965 as general medical patients. Thirty years later a follow-up was available for 723 of them. Among these people, the 10-point difference between groups showed a 19% increase in the risk of mortality for those who were more pessimistic. That means that over the course of 30 years, 19% more pessimists had died than optimists.

Wouldn’t that seem to make a morning “YES!” worth it as a practice?

Here’s another tip for increasing good feelings in your day. Sounds dumb, but it works. Hold a pencil in your mouth horizontally, parallel with the floor, and push it far enough back that the pencil creates a wide smile-like facial posture. Hold it for about 15 seconds. Your brain can’t tell that this isn’t a genuine smile, and it creates and releases chemicals into your brain that increase good feelings. Simple. Silly. Rather effective.

Want to feel better? Want more positive joyful surprises in your life? Try a couple of simple tactics. Start your day with an enthusiastic, “Yes!” and try to refrain from negating its effects with pessimistic inner commentary. Later in your day hold a pencil in your mouth for 15 seconds in a smile position.

These practices are so simple they couldn’t really be effective, right? You’ll never know until you give them a fair try. After all, they couldn’t hurt!

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Challenges Are Normal, Upset Is Optional

Wed, 27 Jan 2016 14:56:22 -0800

As a college student, I knew a lot. At nineteen I knew more than I have known since. I knew the right ways to react to many situations. I was certain about many things that later turned out to be more complex than I realized.

The Science of Mind philosophy of the Centers for Spiritual Living was the answer to the deep spiritual quest of my twenties. It opened me to thinking about assumptions I had made about the world, God, myself and other people that weren’t necessarily accurate. I discovered some assumptions to be false–like the “evils of business” in general, and “wealthy people,” in particular. (Sorry, my successful, enlightened business friends. I know better now.)

The next Act of my life story has moved me into the business sphere myself. (Who’d have guessed that was coming?) Assisting at business trainings for spiritual and holistic coaches, practitioners and entrepreneurs has been as valuable for me as participating in the trainings.

The assistants are always a diverse group of various ages, religions, businesses, cultures and backgrounds. Among us two weeks ago were specialists in homeopathy to coaching polyamorous couples; and from a young Jewish woman, to a Muslim mother in her hijab, to me.

Each one of us is unconditionally loved and supported. What a ride! The very community stirs us skillfully into contact with people whose lives are unfamiliar, causing us to set aside opinions and judgments and to connect, care and learn.

What do we usually do when we encounter unfamiliar people, or difficult conditions? Do we let our discomfort pull us this way and that way? Reacting with discomfort or judgment is a habit that can take effort to break.

Over the courses of our lives we’ve “learned” that particular beliefs or situations affect people in predictable ways. These ideas are reinforced in books, television, movies, music, news programs, conversations and personal experiences. So, that must be completely true, right? Isn’t that how everyone is affected by those people or that issue?

Most of us have a good collection of stories about “why” a particular condition or way of life is good or bad. If we never question our assumptions and reactions, the stories, opinions and history become excuses to remain stuck wherever we are.

Questioning our assumptions doesn’t guarantee change. But taking action does do something that recounting the reasons for our upset doesn’t.

Taking action to look more deeply shifts our energy. When our focus moves from being frightened, victimized, or put off by the person or situation, to experimenting with an intention to learn and grow, it begins the change process.

When we focus our attention away from feeling bad to creating another possibility, our action communicates to us that:

1. We can make another choice of response.
2. We intend to change our experience.

Action vibrates at a more powerful level than thoughts or words. A committed intention becomes magnetic, pulling opportunities, solutions and resources toward us we might never have imagined from inside our story.

What stops you from opening to others? What blocks your optimism in difficult situations? Depression? Anxiety? Weather? Past failures? Past horrors? Grief over losses? It’s never the outer situation that is the real stopper. The stopper is always our stories.

Does a person have to be unhappy because he is divorced, poor or ill? No. He is divorced, poor or ill–those are simply facts. He becomes unhappy when he tells himself stories about the event or situation, and the stories make him feel upset.

Do we have to keep those whose culture or religion is different from our own at a distance because we don’t understand what they believe? What if instead we were respectfully curious about them? We can stop telling each other scary stories about them.

It might seem odd to imagine someone who is ill, but peaceful. Would it be strange to encounter a person with few belongings who is kind and free from shame? Can you imagine a divorcing person who doesn’t criticize and blame either themselves or their former spouse? Is it possible to become friends with someone whose life and beliefs are entirely different from your own?

Is a belief about some group or situation bothering you today? What if you chose not to worry or judge, recognizing that problems are completely normal, and most people are open to kindness and connection.

Give yourself permission to think and respond differently. Question the requirement to be upset about some situation or person. Create a new story to tell yourself and watch the weight of life lift. It’s another way of being in the world, and well worth trying.

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3 Steps to Fulfillment Now

Wed, 9 Dec 2015 14:47:55 -0800

On any given day, I can make lists of things I want to buy or manifest and achieve. Is that true for you? Perhaps it’s commercialism, or maybe it is the human condition to strive for improvements and thereby become more creative and receptive. I prefer, of course, to interpret it as the latter. And why not? If a verdict of commercialism induces guilt without change, it has no real value. If encouragement to expand in creativity and receptivity is whetted through a larger vision, that seems to be a good thing.

Why You Do What You Do Matters More Than What or How

Recently I heard a fabulous TED Talk by Simon Sinek, a leadership expert. His talk is based on research that demonstrates that people buy products or follow leaders based on their vision or passion for doing something, not on the thing itself or how they create it.

His message is that our clients and customers are not people who want what we offer, but who believe what we believe. And by this, he isn’t referring to spiritual beliefs, but deep values about life and how we want to be living it. Today we support what we believe in with our votes, our purchases, and our posts in social media.

As I’ve begun working with new clients to support the realization of their dreams and goals as they break through the barriers that have been holding them back, I am experiencing the fulfillment that always comes to me in that process. For me as the mentor, it isn’t the issues themselves that I am interested in, it’s the freeing of a person from perceived limitations so that she or he can bring their greatness to life and into manifestation in their experience and in the world. I am passionate about working with people who are motivated to bust through those barriers, whatever they may appear to be.

I believe the world needs our gifts, and often the main thing blocking the world from receiving our genius is some belief we have that isn’t even accurate. Maybe it once was; but maybe it never was true!

Three Ideas for Greater Fulfillment Now

So here are 3 ideas for greater fulfillment in your own life that I want to give to you so that you are freer to give your gifts to the world when you finish reading this blog today:

1. You don’t need to get somewhere else. You are already there. Wherever you are now is the right place to begin the next step, and the timing couldn’t be more perfect for you. In fact, you can’t begin anywhere else. It took you your entire lifetime to get you here, and here has significance. Don’t trip yourself up in guilt because you aren’t somewhere else. The lessons of life that got you here were hard won, and you needed them to be ready for this moment.

2. You don’t need to be different than you are. There are plenty of people trying to be something other than themselves and there is no good reason to join them. There isn’t now, nor has there ever been, anyone like you. If the universe didn’t need you to be who you are, you wouldn’t be here. That said, if you are unhappy with your life change it. The universe didn’t bring you forth to sit in misery, but to shine fully as only you can do as you. Don’t let the past define your present or limit your future.

3. Consider the possibility–gently–that your reasons for not doing what you really want to do are not only reasons, but also excuses. The two are not the same thing. A reason describes why something is so. It’s information that can shed light on a situation. An excuse describes why that reason stops everything else from happening. It’s not really information. It’s a request for others to support you in living small, holding back and being fearful.

Why Wait Any Longer?

Lots of us wait until the New Year to move on things we want to begin, and that might work just fine for you. But if you are chomping at the bit wanting to get out of a rut and bust through those barriers, why wait? Start today with the 3 ideas above. Chomp on them for a while and see where they take you. Namasté.

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